TAXES
(My apologies to
Edgar Allen Poe)
Once upon a
midnight dreary as I struggled weak and weary
Over a
changed Form 1040 I had never seen before.
Back and
forth I did the sums, looking for deduction crumbs
Hoping, ever
hoping that I’d find a way to score.
But alas
twas not my lot to escape an awful blot
Upon my
worldly fortune, Uncle Sam keeps wanting more.
My mind
grows dim with sorrow, the due date is tomorrow,
And I must
find the answer else I’ll end up very poor.
Can I deduct those gambling debts resulting from my stupid
bets?
Should I try to itemize my bar
bill from the club?
What about my one contribution,
will that not bring absolution?
Surely I can
claim deduction for the new pants that I tore.
Alas ‘tis
midnight past, and the time is flying fast, and I must find the answer
To the
question: How much more?
You may
think my answer funny; I'll just send them all my money,
And request
that they return to me all that not spent before.
It is now
six months gone by, and as yet there’s no reply,
Could it be
that Uncle Sam will grant me no succor?
Then the
raven came rapping, rapping
The Raven
came rapping, tapping at my window door.
Oh! To be so
doubly blessed, a messenger from the IRS!
Surely he
has come to tell me that my problems are no more.
And I said
“Oh bird austere, do you bring me news of cheer?
If you
brought to me a refund then together we will soar.
I am down to
bread and beans, for I do not have the means
To buy a
decent meal. Tell me Raven,
Am I affluent as I was in days of yore?
Quoth the Raven, “Never more!”
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